Most of us grew up with a version of bullying that had a natural off switch. When the school bell rang and you walked out the gate, you got a break. Home was home. That’s no longer the case. When bullying moves online, it moves in with your family. It’s there at dinner, at bedtime, and first thing in the morning — in the pocket of a twelve-year-old who can’t explain why they suddenly dread picking up their phone.
Cyberbullying is one of the most common online safety issues affecting Australian school-aged children, and it can happen to kids of any age, personality type, or social group. This guide is here to help you understand what it looks like, what to do about it, and — if your own child turns out to be the one doing the bullying — how to handle that too, without losing the plot.
What Is Cyberbullying, and How Is It Different?
Cyberbullying is repeated, deliberate, hurtful behaviour towards another person using digital technology — phones, computers, gaming platforms, apps, or social media. It can include:
- Sending threatening or abusive messages
- Spreading rumours or sharing embarrassing content
- Excluding someone from online group chats on purpose
- Posting humiliating photos or videos without consent
- Impersonating someone online to damage their reputation
- Ganging up on someone in a game or group chat
What makes cyberbullying particularly hard on young people is the combination of reach and permanence. A cruel comment in a school corridor reaches the people nearby. The same comment posted publicly can be seen by hundreds, shared further, and screenshot to last forever. And unlike playground bullying, there’s no physical space that’s safe. It follows a child home, into their bedroom, and — if they sleep with their phone nearby — into the night.
In Australia, serious cyberbullying of a child is addressed under the Online Safety Act 2021, which gives the eSafety Commissioner the power to require platforms to remove harmful content directed at Australian children. In some cases, where the behaviour is severe or threatening, it may also constitute a criminal offence under state and territory laws.
How to Recognise the Signs
Children — especially older ones — often won’t tell you directly that they’re being cyberbullied. They may feel ashamed, worry they’ll lose access to their devices, or fear that you’ll overreact in a way that makes things worse. So the signs tend to show up in behaviour rather than words.
Changes in device use
- Becoming anxious, upset, or angry after using their phone or computer
- Suddenly being reluctant to use devices they previously loved
- Turning the screen away or closing apps when you walk past
- Unusual silence during or after time online
Changes in mood and behaviour
- Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities they normally enjoy
- Seeming flat, tearful, or irritable — particularly in the evenings or at weekends
- Reluctance to talk about school or social life
- Difficulty sleeping, or wanting to stay home from school
Social changes
- Losing contact with friends who are mutual connections online
- Avoiding mention of certain classmates they used to talk about
- Seeming left out or uncertain about their social standing
None of these signs on their own are definitive — teenagers can be moody for all sorts of reasons. But if you’re seeing a cluster of these changes, especially over a period of days or weeks, it’s worth gently opening the conversation.
Where It Most Commonly Happens in Australia
Instagram and TikTok
Both platforms are widely used by Australian secondary students. Bullying here can take the form of cruel comments on posts, mass reporting of accounts to get them deactivated, or the creation of fake accounts to mock or impersonate someone.
Snapchat
Snapchat’s disappearing messages can give a false sense that evidence won’t exist — but screenshots are easy to take. Group chats on Snapchat are a common location for exclusion and pile-ons.
Group chats (WhatsApp, iMessage, Messenger)
Some of the most painful cyberbullying happens in private group chats — the kind that look innocuous from the outside but function as spaces where a child is relentlessly mocked or excluded. The private nature makes them harder to report.
Gaming platforms (Roblox, Fortnite, Minecraft, Xbox, PlayStation)
Online gaming involves real-time social interaction, and the competitive nature of some games can bring out genuinely nasty behaviour. For younger children especially, gaming is often where first encounters with bullying happen online.
YouTube and live-streaming platforms
Comment sections can be brutally unkind. If your child creates any content online, the comments section is worth monitoring.
What to Do if Your Child Is Being Cyberbullied
Step 1: Stay calm and listen
Your child needs to know they’ve done the right thing by telling you. Let them talk. Ask open questions. Resist the urge to immediately problem-solve. “That sounds really hard. Can you tell me more about what’s been happening?” goes a long way.
Step 2: Document everything
Before blocking anyone or reporting content, take screenshots of everything — the messages, posts, comments, or images involved. Include the date and time if visible. Save these somewhere accessible, not just on the child’s device.
Step 3: Block and report on the platform
Every major platform — Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, WhatsApp, gaming services — has a built-in reporting function. Blocking the person responsible and reporting the specific content is often the fastest way to get harmful material removed.
Step 4: Contact the school
Even if the bullying is happening outside school hours, schools have a responsibility to address cyberbullying that affects student wellbeing. Most Australian schools now have specific cyberbullying policies. Speak to your child’s year coordinator or school counsellor and bring your documentation.
Step 5: Contact the eSafety Commissioner if unresolved
If content hasn’t been removed after reporting to the platform, you can make a complaint directly to the eSafety Commissioner at esafety.gov.au. The Commissioner has legal powers to compel platforms to remove cyberbullying material targeting Australian children. It’s free and doesn’t require a lawyer.
Step 6: Look after your child’s wellbeing
Make sure your child knows they have your support, that what’s happening is not their fault, and that it will get better. If they’re struggling, a conversation with the school counsellor or a call to Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) can help. You don’t need to wait for things to be severe before reaching out.
What If Your Child Is the One Doing the Bullying?
This is the scenario most parents don’t expect. A few things worth holding onto:
- It doesn’t make your child a bad person. Children often engage in bullying behaviour without fully understanding the impact, especially online where they can’t see the person’s reaction. This is a teachable moment, not a verdict on your child’s character.
- Don’t minimise it either. “Just banter” or “everyone does it” are not acceptable explanations for deliberate, repeated unkindness.
- Find out why. Kids sometimes bully as a response to their own social anxiety or peer pressure. Understanding the reason doesn’t excuse the behaviour, but helps you address it properly.
- Involve the school. Work with your child’s school rather than around them.
- Follow through. Have clear, agreed consequences — including restricting platform access if necessary — and follow through consistently.
How to Talk to Your Child About Cyberbullying
For primary school-aged children (Years 1–6)
Keep it simple and concrete. Talk about kindness online the same way you’d talk about kindness in person. Let them know that if anyone online ever says something that makes them feel bad, scared, or confused, they can always tell you — and you won’t be angry with them.
For secondary school-aged children (Years 7–12)
Make it a conversation rather than a lecture. Some useful starting points:
- “Have you ever seen someone being treated badly in a group chat? What did people do?”
- “If something was happening to you online that you didn’t like, what do you think you’d do?”
- “What do you reckon counts as cyberbullying? Where’s the line between banter and something more serious?”
One of the most protective things you can do is make sure your child knows — really knows — that coming to you won’t result in their devices being taken away. Say it out loud: “I’m not going to punish you for telling me. I want you to tell me.”
Australian Resources and Where to Get Help
- eSafety Commissioner — esafety.gov.au
Australia’s independent online safety regulator. Report cyberbullying and harmful content. Also has excellent guides for parents and young people across all age groups. - Kids Helpline — 1800 55 1800 or kidshelpline.com.au
Free, confidential counselling for children and young people aged 5–25, available 24/7. Your child can call, chat online, or access web counselling. - Headspace — headspace.org.au
Mental health support for young people aged 12–25. A good option if cyberbullying has started to affect your child’s mental health more broadly. - Your child’s school counsellor
Every Australian school has access to counselling support. Counsellors can support your child directly and work with the school on the broader situation. - 1800RESPECT — 1800 737 732
If the cyberbullying involves sexual content or intimate image abuse, 1800RESPECT offers confidential support and advice.
Cyberbullying is genuinely hard — for children going through it, and for the parents trying to help. But it is something that can be addressed, reported, and recovered from. The most important thing you can do is keep the door open so that your child feels safe enough to let you in when they need you. That openness — more than any app, filter, or policy — is what makes the biggest difference.